Who, Me? Afraid?

I sought the Lord, and He answered me and delivered me from all my fears...

The angel of the Lord encamps around those who fear Him, 

and delivers them. 

Psalm 34:4,7

My husband and I married in 1968, both at the age of 22.  I had never spent a night alone until we married and moved to Alabama, where he was in pilot's training for the United States Air Force.  Many mornings he would leave the house as early as 2 a.m.  There was only one problem with that; I was a very fearful bride!  Embarrassingly I will tell this story.  

Early on, he left one morning during the wee hours, and as usual, I was unable to go back to sleep for fear that a boogie-man would come in and accost me.  I promptly got up, rummaged around in the dark until I found the hand gun, put it under my pillow, and tried to go back to sleep--to no avail.  Of course, I was afraid to get up and turn on lights, because I feared that someone would then know that I was awake, that I was in the house all alone; because you see, he had surely been waiting around until Buster left.  

Unable to sleep, I began to think of all the ways this supposed accoster might get into the house.  Oh, no!  The high window in the other bedroom was not secured!  Trembling with fear, I got out of bed and tiptoed (so that he wouldn't hear me) into the room and began to think how I could secure it.  I know!  I would take the hammer, and hammer nails into it.  No, I would have to go out to the storage room in the back yard in order to get nails, and if I did that he would surely get me.  I felt around and found Buster's golf tees on the desk and a baseball trophy nearby.  Perfect hammer and nails!  I proceeded (noisily, I must say) to hammer the golf tees into the window with the trophy.  I then placed several of his trophies in the window sill so that if the intruder tried to open the window, which pushed open into the house, they would fall on the floor, and I could run out the front door to the neighbor's house.  All of that to no avail!  No sleep for the weary; I spent the rest of the hours of darkness with my hand on the gun.  Nothing would calm my fears except daylight. This all started because on the wall in front of my bed I saw the shadow of someone walking down the street!  Ridiculous, huh?

We then moved to Taiwan, where he would be away from home 15-21 days at a time, flying in war-torn areas of Southeast Asia.  What to do?  Finally, at a mature (more like desperate) 23 years of age, I began to memorize Scripture and to rely on God and His Word to take me through my fears.  I memorized verses that talked about fear and quoted them when I felt afraid.  "I sought the Lord, and He answered me, and delivered me from all my fears." 

No more fear?  I wish.  As David was, I'm still a fear-prone person, but I trust that as I continue to seek the Lord, He will deliver me from all my fears, that I will not be given to fear. This verse doesn't say that He will cause me not to be fear-prone, but it does say that as I seek Him, He will deliver me.  And in doing it this way, I believe that He is teaching me to fear Him.  Without Him I can do nothing.  But He promises me that His angel will encamp about me as I fear Him and will deliver me.  Praise His Holy Name!

Some are given to fear and others to anger (James 1:19-22).  God deals with both in His Word, and we may grow by it.  My prayer for you today is that you will learn, with me, to fear God and give your fear (or anger) to Him. 

Embarrassed to say,

Gloria